# St Anselm of Bondo


## Posts

- [You Are the Gift: How Self-Preservation Starves the Body](https://stanselmofbondo.com/church-life/you-are-the-gift-how-self-preservation-starves-the-body/): I remember the hesitation I felt the first time I was asked to teach a Sunday School class. It wasn't like a lightning bolt moment where I suddenly knew that this was my calling. Instead, my mind was flooded with doubts: Am I gifted enough for this? Do I know enough? What if I’m not good with children? I don’t think I’m gifted for that. Other people who can do this better. Maybe later… when I’m more ready. Honestly, I think I was expecting some kind of perfect sign, a perfect match between my perceived abilities and the role I was […]
- [Come Behold the Wondrous Mystery: The True Wonder of Christmas](https://stanselmofbondo.com/christmas/come-behold-the-wondrous-mystery-the-true-wonder-of-christmas/): A baby lies wrapped in cloth, placed not in a cradle but in a feeding trough, watched over by weary parents and curious shepherds. This is one of the most familiar images in human history. It appears on Christmas cards, church banners, children’s storybooks, hymn sing posters, and even Christmas articles. We sing about it every December. We reenact it. We sentimentalise it. A newborn. A mother. A quiet night. Why would the greatest story ever told begin like this? Why does the most decisive invasion of Earth look so unimpressive? We would think of a purple-looking conqueror with absolute power, […]
- [The Confessions of a Silent People-Pleaser: How the Cross Frees Us from the Fear of Man](https://stanselmofbondo.com/christian-life/the-confessions-of-a-silent-people-pleaser-how-the-cross-frees-us-from-the-fear-of-man/): “So, Anselm,” he asked, turning towards me from across the dining table, “how do you say no to certain things?” The question hit home. I knew exactly what he was getting at. This wasn't about schedules or boundaries. He was probing the quiet, almost invisible habit that has shaped much of my life: people-pleasing. I mumbled some vague response, but his question stuck with me. Later that night, the Spirit did His work. Replaying scenes, exposing motives, pulling back the curtain on decades of smiling compliance: moments when my desire to help, to appear competent, to keep peace, to rescue, had […]
- [The Gift of ‘Unanswered Prayers’: Trusting God’s Heart When His Hand Withholds](https://stanselmofbondo.com/prayer/the-gift-of-unanswered-prayers-trusting-gods-heart-when-his-hand-withholds/): On that dark Thursday morning, the call had come suddenly. He was being rushed to the hospital. From mum’s tone, it sounded serious. Outside the office, I froze. Words felt small. But in that moment, I found myself praying with the leper in Matthew 8:2, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make [him] well.” I believe He could. I trusted Him enough to ask boldly, hoping for the same response the leper received: “I will, be clean.” But as the hours passed, I was left clutching silence, holding on to a prayer that heaven seemed to have set aside. When […]
- [The Sweet Side of Suffering: Recognizing God’s Best When Facing Life’s Worst](https://stanselmofbondo.com/book-review/the-sweet-side-of-suffering-recognizing-gods-best-when-facing-lifes-worst/): As I shared in one of my previous articles, the Lord once led me through a season marked by pain, tears, confusion, and surrender. What I had once known of God’s comfort at the time felt distant and hollow. My prayers were often tearful, sometimes wordless, and occasionally angry. Suffering, by its very nature, always feels unwelcomed. It intrudes... unsettles... exposes. It doesn’t knock; it breaks down the door. However, ‘we have a choice of how we respond to this intruder.’ When I stumbled upon Esther Lovejoy’s book, The Sweet Side of Suffering: Recognising God’s Best When Facing Life’s Worst, the […]
- [Redeeming Time from Distractions: Living Every Moment for the Master](https://stanselmofbondo.com/christian-life/redeeming-time-from-distractions-living-every-moment-for-the-master/): I wouldn’t call myself lazy. I get things done. I meet deadlines. I even have moments of intense, focused work. However, laziness doesn’t always look like idleness. Sometimes it masquerades as productivity without purpose, focusing on side tasks while neglecting what truly matters. I’ve noticed something about me lately: a subtle laziness dressed up as rest, procrastination masquerading as preparation, a quiet yielding to distraction’s gentle pull. I get to work, open my colour-coded calendar and see what’s waiting: emails that need replies, calls I should’ve returned, meetings to attend, project deliverables piling up. But instead of planning and diving in, […]
- [The Father Himself Loves You: Rediscovering God’s Eternal Heart](https://stanselmofbondo.com/assurance/the-father-himself-loves-you-rediscovering-gods-eternal-heart/): Growing up, I was taught that God is holy, and rightly so. His purity, His majesty, His consuming fire-like glory were emphasised in catechism classes, through liturgies, and especially through the sacraments. The wrath of God wasn’t just a doctrine; it felt real and near. Confession and penance made it tangible. I remember sitting in the confessional, naming my sins, then walking out clutching a prescribed list of prayers, hoping that if I said them right, enough times, and meant them, God would finally be appeased and spare me. Even prayer felt precarious. I could not imagine approaching the Father directly. […]
- [The Unlikely Weapon Against Lust: How Thanksgiving Makes Purity Possible](https://stanselmofbondo.com/purity/the-unlikely-weapon-against-lust-how-thanksgiving-makes-purity-possible/): Believe me, I know the heaviness of heart. The kind that unsettles you deep down and makes your chest tighten. I had crossed the line… again. That resolve I made in prayer, not to look at worthlessness (Psalm 119:37), now lies shattered at my feet. The room feels smaller, as if my own thoughts were cornering me. That inner lawyer in my head called conscience is relentless: How could you? Again? If you really loved God, would you keep falling here? And then came the thought of what the Holy One might be thinking of me at that moment. Whether His […]
- [When My Heart Condemns Me: A Prayer for the Battle Against Besetting Sin](https://stanselmofbondo.com/prayer/a-prayer-for-the-battle-against-besetting-sin/): O Lord, my God,How often I stumble in the same place.How often I grieve that I returnto the very sin that I hate.The weakness of my flesh betrays me.For I do not do the good I want.This sin’s grip, its shame, its familiar chains,presses heavily on my soul. I confess that I am not strong enough to overcome it.Prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love,Do not let me grow comfortable in rebellion.Do not let me make peace with what nailed You on that tree.Let my grief over sin be real,Let it drive me into Your arms, not away.For […]
- [The Mercy that Triumphs over Judgment: How Grace Defeats the Grudge](https://stanselmofbondo.com/forgiveness/the-mercy-that-triumphs-over-judgment-how-grace-defeats-the-grudge/): Her eyes towards me seemed different when we crossed paths after the church service. Or maybe it was just me, seeing through the fog of guilt. One careless statement made without malice. Yet I knew the moment it left my lips that I should’ve prayed, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3). I hadn’t meant to wound her. But the damage was done. The conversation kept replaying in my mind. That phrase. My motive. I wasn’t worried about being misunderstood. I was heartbroken and grieved over the rift I had […]
- [Let Him Do to Me Whatever Seems Good to Him: From Resignation to Rest](https://stanselmofbondo.com/trusting-god/let-him-do-to-me-whatever-seems-good-to-him-from-resignation-to-rest/): There was a season in my life when suffering didn’t take turns. It came in waves. One after another. It began with unmet expectations: something I had earnestly prayed for, hoped for, waited for, only to watch it unexpectedly fall apart. It was heavy. Crushing. A week later, losing a dear friend. It didn’t feel real. But it was daunting. A few days after the burial, just when I thought I could catch my breath, came Dad’s first memorial. The kind of pain that breaks something inside you that you didn’t know could break. Grief doesn’t check your calendar. I found […]
- [“Kama Sio Hivi Sitaki”: ‘Reel Love’ or Real Love](https://stanselmofbondo.com/relationships/kama-sio-hivi-sitaki-reel-love-or-real-love/): I watched a K-drama called Melo Movie. As expected, it was moving and romantic, the kind of show that makes you want to text someone you shouldn’t. The relationship between Ko Gyeom, the awkward but sincere actor, and Kim Mu-bee, the guarded yet emotionally intelligent director, was full of subtle tension. In one scene, after a period of reconnection, Mu-bee tells Gyeom they shouldn’t see each other anymore, not because of betrayal or cruelty, but because she simply doesn’t feel ready. He doesn’t fight her on it. They part quietly, both aching, both still affectionate, but ultimately driven by emotion, by […]
- [Riches I Heed Not? The Battle for Contentment in a World of Comfort](https://stanselmofbondo.com/contentment/riches-i-heed-not-the-battle-for-contentment-in-a-world-of-comfort/): This past Lord’s day, during our congregational worship, we sang one of my favourite hymns: Be Thou My Vision. It’s a beautiful and ancient prayer for God to be our everything. Our wisdom. Our true word. Our inheritance. Our treasure. But as I sang along, came this line “Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise”, something in me paused. My lips moved. But my heart? It hesitated. Did I really mean that? Would I be okay if all I had was God, no affirmation, no impressive career, and no cosy lifestyle? What about the things I quietly chase: a stable […]
- [Remember Who You Are: The Gospel According to Baptism](https://stanselmofbondo.com/union-with-christ/remember-who-you-are-the-gospel-according-to-baptism/): Three years ago today, I stood before my local church, heart racing, eyes brimming, voice trembling with joy, to share how God had rescued me from the kingdom of darkness and brought me into the kingdom of His beloved Son (Colossians 1:13). I remember reading my testimony aloud to the congregation. If Paul was the chief of sinners, I was surely his apprentice. The grace I spoke of had undone me, rebuilt me, and carried me to that moment. Then came the water. Warm, embracing, unforgettable. I was lowered into it. Then raised. Washed. Welcomed. The act was physical, yes, but […]
- [The Weight You Don’t Have to Carry: How Confession Breaks the Grip of Sin](https://stanselmofbondo.com/sanctification/the-weight-you-dont-have-to-carry-how-confession-breaks-the-grip-of-sin/): I still remember the pounding in my chest as I sat across from him on that Friday evening. It was time. I couldn’t keep this to myself anymore. He had not even asked. He didn’t need to. But I knew I needed help. I had tried to fight it, again and again. I prayed and resolved never to return. But the more I wanted to kill it, the more powerful it seemed to become. Guilt had wrapped itself around me so tightly that I couldn’t tell where it ended and I began. It didn’t just weigh on me, it started to […]
- [The Sweetness of That Midnight Hour: A Song for Suffering Saints](https://stanselmofbondo.com/suffering/the-sweetness-of-that-midnight-hour-a-song-for-suffering-saints/): If you had asked me two years ago what I believed about suffering, I might have answered with tidy theology. I might have quoted Romans 8:28, or Romans 8:18 or James 1:2. I would have spoken confidently about sanctification, refining fires, and God’s sovereign purposes. But when suffering came knocking at my own door: uninvited, unrelenting, and disorienting, those well-rehearsed answers crumbled. Pain, especially prolonged pain, has a way of distorting our view of God. His promises can feel out of reach. His presence, veiled. And yet, strangely, it was in that very midnight, those dark, hidden, weeping hours, that I […]
- [You’re Not Missing Out: Unmasking the Lies of FOMO in Christian Fellowship](https://stanselmofbondo.com/church-life/youre-not-missing-out-unmasking-the-lies-of-fomo-in-christian-fellowship/): It happened on Sunday evening after the picnic. I was sitting with a few friends, chatting about “growing spines”, when we heard loud laughters and the echo of guys on the basketball court. I leaned over to peek. One of my friends smiled and asked, “FOMO?” I laughed it off, but something about that moment hit me. She might have just been saying it lightly, I presume, but I felt it: that slight wave of sadness, the creeping sense that I might be missing out on something better, somewhere else. That’s when I realised FOMO is not just a cultural trend, […]
- [Lord, to whom shall I go? A prayer for weary hearts in the valley of grief](https://stanselmofbondo.com/prayer/lord-to-whom-shall-i-go/): Lord, to whom shall I go?When the weight of sorrow bends my soul to the dust,When my tears have been my portion day and night.Sleep flees from me, and my bed is a place of tossing,Grief clings to me like a heavy chain.I try to pray, but the words won’t come.Still, I lift my eyes to You and whisper Your name. Lord, to whom shall I go?When I see the joy you have poured on others,Yet sorrow is the cup you have given me to drink.Laughter fills their mouths, but mine is shut in anguish,And my soul wonders why my portion […]

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