Topic: Church Life

It happened on Sunday evening after the picnic. I was sitting with a few friends, chatting about “growing spines”, when we heard loud laughters and the echo of guys on the basketball court. I leaned over to peek. One of my friends smiled and asked, “FOMO?”

I laughed it off, but something about that moment hit me. She might have just been saying it lightly, I presume, but I felt it: that slight wave of sadness, the creeping sense that I might be missing out on something better, somewhere else. That’s when I realised FOMO is not just a cultural trend, it’s a spiritual battle I’ve been quietly losing.

FOMO, meaning the “Fear of Missing Out”, doesn’t often make its way into our conversations, but it’s one of the silent spiritual battles many of us might be facing today. And it’s not just a trendy acronym from social media culture. It’s a subtle, pervasive lie that affects how we see ourselves, others, and even God.

I didn’t realise how deeply FOMO had crept into my walk with the Lord until that moment. It has not always felt like sin. It has felt like sadness, like being “on the outside.” But behind that ache was something darker, i.e. Pride, Envy, and Distrust of God’s Wisdom in how He had placed me in the body of Christ. And, the longer I have entertained FOMO, the more I have failed to love the very saints God had called me to walk with.

My Personal Fallout of FOMO

I’ll be honest, there have been seasons when FOMO has made me:

• Withdraw from the community emotionally because I felt like I didn’t belong.
• Stop listening well in conversations, distracted by the urge to be elsewhere.
• Envy others’ closeness instead of celebrating their spiritual growth.
• Wallow in self-pity, asking for every detail about a hangout I wasn’t invited to, not out of joy for others but to feed the ache of exclusion.

These weren’t minor missteps. They were failures to love. I grieved the Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). I ignored the saints beside me. I chose self-pity over sacrificial love. And perhaps worst of all, I failed to see the beautiful people God had placed right in front of me, brothers and sisters in Christ, struggling and growing just like me, longing to be heard, known, loved and encouraged.

FOMO and the Battle for Contentment in Christ

We begin at its root. FOMO is a battle over contentment. Not just contentment in our circumstances, but in God’s wisdom and goodness. Scripture says,

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1)

But FOMO whispers, “If only I had been part of that group… if only I’d been included in that dinner, that conversation, that hangout — then I’d be fulfilled.”

In this way, FOMO becomes a subtle form of idolatry. We begin to believe that joy is found in experiences we weren’t given, relationships we weren’t invited into, or groups that seemed to grow without us. Instead of trusting the Shepherd, we scan the pastures looking for another flock that seems more satisfying.

The Lie of Scarcity in Christian Fellowship

At the heart of FOMO is a belief that there’s not enough joy to go around. Not enough wisdom. Not enough community. Not enough depth. Not enough belonging. But that’s not how the kingdom of God works.

“There are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit… the body does not consist of one member but of many.”
(1 Corinthians 12:4,14)

I’m sure the early church didn’t thrive because everyone had equal access to the same social circles or spiritual highs. It thrived because the Spirit bound together a diverse group of people who devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and prayer (Acts 2:42).

FOMO, on the other hand, causes us to measure ourselves against others constantly, and it turns fellowship into a performance we can be left out of. But the gospel tells a different story:

“You are no longer strangers and aliens, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” (Ephesians 2:19)

How FOMO Distorts Our View of People

One of the most sobering realisations I’ve had is this: FOMO doesn’t just make me insecure, it makes me selfish.

It turns people into props. I evaluate them not based on how I can serve them, but based on whether I feel accepted by them. I miss the opportunity to care, to notice, to serve, because I’m too focused on what I feel left out of.

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” (1 Corinthians 10:24)

FOMO can make me walk past the lonely church member in search of the more “influential” groups or circles. It can make me not listen to what is being said or listen to a conversation only to measure whether I’m being included, rather than caring about what others are saying.

When I believe that the “real” spiritual life is happening somewhere else, I stop treasuring the people God has placed directly in front of me.

Healing the Wound of FOMO

1. Repent and Receive Grace

We need to begin by naming FOMO for what it is: a form of idolatry, unbelief and selfishness. It’s okay to grieve the loneliness or the pain of feeling overlooked or left out, but we must repent of turning inward and away from others. The good news of the gospel is that God does not meet us with shame, but with mercy, because Jesus already bore our shame.

At the cross, Christ took upon Himself the weight of our sin: our envy, pride, self-pity, and unbelief. He was forsaken, so we would never be. He died on a Roman cross to bear the punishment we deserved for these very sins and rose again so that we might be justified, fully accepted and declared righteous before God (Romans 4:25). Through faith in Him, we are united with Christ and clothed in His perfect righteousness. This means we no longer have to strive for worth or belonging. He is our belonging.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

So yes, we repent, but we also rest. In Christ, there is grace for our wandering hearts and power to be changed.

2. Look Around and Listen

Who has God placed in your immediate spiritual family? Who have you perhaps overlooked or dismissed while longing for some other “ideal” version of friendship or community?

Start here: the person next to you in the church service or bible study. That quiet member at church, or that member you only see in the directory. That brother or sister who always comes early but never gets invited out. That’s your fellowship. That’s your opportunity. Take initiative. Get to know them. Start listening. Ask questions. Don’t wait for a perfect invitation. Invite yourself and step into the relationships God has already provided for you.

3. Serve Instead of Scan

Rather than scanning the lawn for who notices you, scan the lawn for who needs care. There are always hurting, quiet, overlooked people in your church, people you might not have noticed when FOMO was in charge. Christ calls us to serve, not to be seen.

“The greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matthew 23:11)

4. Celebrate Others’ Joy Without Comparison

When others experience deep fellowship, rejoice in it. When someone posts a photo of a wonderful hangout or gathering you missed or were not invited to, let it turn your heart to thanksgiving, not bitterness. Their joy is not your loss. Instead of thinking, “Why not me?” let your heart pray, “Thank you, Lord, for giving joy to your people.” This is not natural to the sinful flesh, but it is the fruit of the Spirit.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” (Romans 12:15)

This kind of rejoicing is a discipline that transforms envy into encouragement. It aligns your heart with God’s heart. God’s grace is not a limited resource.

5. Rest in God’s Placement

You are not a spiritual orphan. You have not been forgotten. You are not on the outside of God’s plan for His church. If you are in Christ, you are already loved, already included, already placed in the body just as the Spirit willed (1 Corinthians 12:18). Your life is not lesser because it is quieter. Your obedience, your small acts of faithfulness, your unnoticed acts of service are precious in the sight of God. In a world that equates value with visibility, the gospel assures us that God’s sovereign hand never places us outside the bounds of His perfect will. Your belonging is not based on visibility, but on the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13).

You’re Not Missing Out

FOMO will keep whispering, “You need to be somewhere else. You need to be with someone else. You need to become someone else.” But if you are in Christ, you are not left out. You are not excluded. You are not forgotten. You are seen, loved, and placed exactly where the Lord wants you in His body.

“Christ is in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27)
“And He has given us one another.” (Romans 12:5)

This is not a mere spiritual sentiment. This is a blood-bought reality. By His death, Christ brought us near to God (Ephesians 2:13). By His resurrection, He secured our place in the family of God, not as spectators, but as sons and daughters, members of one body, made alive together with Him. You don’t have to earn your place. Jesus already did.

God has already given you all you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). That includes the people around you, the place you’re in, and the gifts you’ve been given.

He has not called you to chase every event, every conversation, or every moment of fellowship. He’s called you to be faithful where you are.