Topic: Church Life

I remember the hesitation I felt the first time I was asked to teach a Sunday School class. It wasn't like a lightning bolt moment where I suddenly knew that this was my calling. Instead, my mind was flooded with doubts: Am I gifted enough for this? Do I know enough? What if I’m not good with children? I don’t think I’m gifted for that. Other people who can do this better. Maybe later… when I’m more ready.

Honestly, I think I was expecting some kind of perfect sign, a perfect match between my perceived abilities and the role I was being asked to fill. We often talk about spiritual gifts as if they are fully defined, clear-cut categories. Teachers teach, encouragers encourage, leaders lead. If you don't immediately see yourself fitting into one of these and other categories, it is easy to think you should just stay on the sidelines until you discover your "real" gift.

So, I said yes, not fully aware of what I was getting myself into. I felt inadequate, lacking, and unsure if anything I said would actually resonate with five and six-year-olds to help them understand the gospel. I underestimated them.

But by the end of that first class, my perspective shifted. It wasn't because I suddenly realised I was a brilliant teacher. Actually, it was very chaotic. But I tasted a kind of joy I was not expecting. A joy that didn’t come from having a full grasp of my abilities, but from obedience.

That experience exposed something deeper in me. My hesitation was not really about teaching or children. It was about waiting. Waiting until I felt clear enough, confident enough, or “gifted” enough before stepping in. We tend to assume that obedience should follow clarity and certainty. That we first discover our gift, and then we serve. When we refuse to step forward until everything feels clear, it is the body of Christ that suffers.

The Graveyards of Spiritual Gifts

Perhaps you look at the vibrant life of your local church from the sidelines, convinced that things seem to be going well without your intervention. They don’t really need you. Our world today is very consumeristic, and we can carry the same into the church, treating it as a place that exists to serve us, where we consume rather than contribute.

Most spiritual gifts die not by outright rejection, but by distraction. These temptations become spiritual cul-de-sacs, comfortable places to live, but leading nowhere. -  How to Squander Your Spiritual Gifts

Marshall Segal points out that we often fail to use our gifts not because we don't have them, but because we are preoccupied with ourselves.

First, we fail to use our gifts because of worldliness. The comfort, success, or recognition we crave from the world dulls our appetite for service altogether. Service begins to feel like an interruption rather than a calling. Jesus warns:

“...this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.” (Matthew 13:22, NAS95).

The other is self-centeredness. Instead of looking for ways and areas we can serve, we count the cost and shun it altogether? We think our time, energy, and abilities belong primarily to us. If it is not convenient, we tend to shy away from it. The other is Pride. This is a double-edged sword. On one end, we think some duties are too low for us. On the other end, we shrink back in comparison, thinking we have nothing to offer.

"There is no room for arrogance when every gift we have is from Christ." - Sinclair Ferguson

Perhaps no graveyard is more crowded today than that of passivity. We wait for a perfect convincing as we do nothing. We wait for a level of clarity or confirmation that God never promised to give before we obey. Meanwhile, needs go unmet, and the body is deprived of what God intended to supply through us. 

Rethinking Spiritual Gifts

What if part of the problem is how we think about spiritual gifts in the first place? Like they are these "special powers" hidden in us. My aim is to give us a different lens. The Apostle Paul writes: 

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit… But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:4, 7, NAS95).

First, notice that every Christian possesses the Holy Spirit. Second, notice that the gifts are manifestations of the Spirit. Meaning they are not self-generated. Lastly, notice the aim is for the common good, that is, the body of Christ. Later in the same chapter, Paul describes the church as a body and we as individual members of it (1 Corinthians 12:27)

This means that your role in your local church is not incidental. You didn’t just happen to be added to your local church. God gave that church a person: You, with your unique personality, experiences and abilities. You are a necessary part of how God intends to care for His people. When you serve, it is not just your abilities on display… it is the Spirit of God ministering to others through you. Think of yourself as the specific gift Christ has given to your local church.

"For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another". (Romans 12:4-5, NAS95)

If you do not give your presence and your willingness to help, you are denying the saints a blessing that God intended to deliver through you. There is no other You. No one else can fill the gap you create, because God did not make clones; He made a Body with unique, indispensable parts.

“And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.’ (1 Corinthians 12:21, NAS95)

The question, therefore, is not, ‘What are my gifts?’ but rather, ‘Where is God calling me to give myself?’ I believe this is God’s design. Clarity does not always come before obedience. It often comes in it. Gifts are often discovered in the doing, not in the waiting. As we step into needs, however unsure we feel, we begin to discover how God has actually wired and gifted us.

Because of the Mercies of God

Why should we bother? Why should we give ourselves (time and resources) for the sake of others? Why should I push through the tiredness that might come after a long work week to set up chairs before the service or teach children?

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.” (Romans 12:1, NAS95)

The motivation for service is not guilt… neither is it FOMO, but gratitude. Gratitude for the gospel by which we are saved. The reality that while we were still wicked God-hating rebels, Christ died for us. God, in His great love, sent His Son Jesus Christ to live the life we could not live and to die the death we deserved. He took judgment we deserve for our sin in his death on the Cross and gave us His righteousness.  

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf (2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NAS95)

To witness the mercy of the cross and then remain passive is a profound form of ingratitude. It is to think of ourselves more highly than we ought (Romans 12:3). When we realise that Christ gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds (Titus 2:14), the only reasonable response is to give ourselves to Him in service.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NAS95)

When we give ourselves, that is, our time, our energy, and our presence, we are aligning ourselves with the very purpose for which we were redeemed. We are participating in God’s work among His people.

The Grace Only You Carry

A good illustration I heard of spiritual gifts is this: Imagine an artist standing before a palette filled with colours. Rather than choosing a single shade, the artist begins blending them: a little red, a touch of blue, a shade of yellow, until something entirely new emerges.

Similarly, God blends different graces in each believer with their different personalities in a way that makes each one of them distinct. Which means, there is no other church member exactly like you.

“Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly…” (Romans 12:6, NAS95)

Paul exhorts us to get right on with service. We are Christians, we have the Holy Spirit, grace has been given to us according to the measure of faith, and we are a part of a local church. He concludes that we are to exercise those Spirit-given abilities accordingly.

As we give ourselves to the needs before us, however imperfectly, He is the one who works through us, shaping, strengthening, and revealing how He has uniquely equipped us along the way.

Look around. Where are the needs? Where can you begin? Is it hospitality? Open up your home, however small it may seem. Is it women’s or men’s ministry? Look for someone to walk with in the Word and in prayer. Is it the children’s ministry? Volunteer to teach. Is it caring for the needy in the community? Do it with cheerfulness. Is it evangelising in the neighbourhood? Speak as one speaking the utterances of God. Is it setting up or moving stuff around? Do it with gladness.

"The gospel creates community. Because it points us to the One who died for his enemies, it creates relationships of service rather than selfishness” -Tim Keller

Do not allow pride or passivity or be lured by the deceitfulness of the world to criple your commitment to the Lord. Do not wait for a perfect feeling of "preparedness." Identify needs in the church and give your time, energy and resources to them.

God is not looking for the most talented or the most ‘convinced’. He is looking for thankful hearts who recognise how gracious and merciful the Lord has been to them and are willing to give themselves to serve with the strength He supplies.

You are the Gift

We can treat church life like a theatre performance: we arrive on Sunday, sit, watch the "gifted" few perform, and then slip out. God did not call us out of darkness, forgive us of our sin, and unite us to His dear Son so that we remain non-functional organs in His Body.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10, NAS95)

So, how are you serving the saints with what He has given you? How are you giving yourself to the Lord that He may use you? You may never perfectly define your gift. But as you give yourself to the Lord in obedience to His Word and serve his people, the Spirit will shape your life into something uniquely useful.

 It is impossible to serve God without serving one another - Alistair Begg 

The gap we leave when we remain passive is a gap that no one else can fill quite the way God intended. We are not a spare part. We are a very vital organ. As you look around to serve the saints, don't look for where you can get. Look for where you can give. Remember that it is God who empowers you to do what He commands. 

“...whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Chris” (1 Peter 4:11, NAS95)

He is asking us to depend on Him as we pour ourselves into the lives of others.  Even if it is unseen, let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary (Galatians 6:8). For whatever we do to one of the least of His brothers, we did it for Him.

It happened on Sunday evening after the picnic. I was sitting with a few friends, chatting about “growing spines”, when we heard loud laughters and the echo of guys on the basketball court. I leaned over to peek. One of my friends smiled and asked, “FOMO?”

I laughed it off, but something about that moment hit me. She might have just been saying it lightly, I presume, but I felt it: that slight wave of sadness, the creeping sense that I might be missing out on something better, somewhere else. That’s when I realised FOMO is not just a cultural trend, it’s a spiritual battle I’ve been quietly losing.

FOMO, meaning the “Fear of Missing Out”, doesn’t often make its way into our conversations, but it’s one of the silent spiritual battles many of us might be facing today. And it’s not just a trendy acronym from social media culture. It’s a subtle, pervasive lie that affects how we see ourselves, others, and even God.

I didn’t realise how deeply FOMO had crept into my walk with the Lord until that moment. It has not always felt like sin. It has felt like sadness, like being “on the outside.” But behind that ache was something darker, i.e. Pride, Envy, and Distrust of God’s Wisdom in how He had placed me in the body of Christ. And, the longer I have entertained FOMO, the more I have failed to love the very saints God had called me to walk with.

My Personal Fallout of FOMO

I’ll be honest, there have been seasons when FOMO has made me:

• Withdraw from the community emotionally because I felt like I didn’t belong.
• Stop listening well in conversations, distracted by the urge to be elsewhere.
• Envy others’ closeness instead of celebrating their spiritual growth.
• Wallow in self-pity, asking for every detail about a hangout I wasn’t invited to, not out of joy for others but to feed the ache of exclusion.

These weren’t minor missteps. They were failures to love. I grieved the Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). I ignored the saints beside me. I chose self-pity over sacrificial love. And perhaps worst of all, I failed to see the beautiful people God had placed right in front of me, brothers and sisters in Christ, struggling and growing just like me, longing to be heard, known, loved and encouraged.

FOMO and the Battle for Contentment in Christ

We begin at its root. FOMO is a battle over contentment. Not just contentment in our circumstances, but in God’s wisdom and goodness. Scripture says,

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1)

But FOMO whispers, “If only I had been part of that group… if only I’d been included in that dinner, that conversation, that hangout — then I’d be fulfilled.”

In this way, FOMO becomes a subtle form of idolatry. We begin to believe that joy is found in experiences we weren’t given, relationships we weren’t invited into, or groups that seemed to grow without us. Instead of trusting the Shepherd, we scan the pastures looking for another flock that seems more satisfying.

The Lie of Scarcity in Christian Fellowship

At the heart of FOMO is a belief that there’s not enough joy to go around. Not enough wisdom. Not enough community. Not enough depth. Not enough belonging. But that’s not how the kingdom of God works.

“There are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit… the body does not consist of one member but of many.”
(1 Corinthians 12:4,14)

I’m sure the early church didn’t thrive because everyone had equal access to the same social circles or spiritual highs. It thrived because the Spirit bound together a diverse group of people who devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and prayer (Acts 2:42).

FOMO, on the other hand, causes us to measure ourselves against others constantly, and it turns fellowship into a performance we can be left out of. But the gospel tells a different story:

“You are no longer strangers and aliens, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” (Ephesians 2:19)

How FOMO Distorts Our View of People

One of the most sobering realisations I’ve had is this: FOMO doesn’t just make me insecure, it makes me selfish.

It turns people into props. I evaluate them not based on how I can serve them, but based on whether I feel accepted by them. I miss the opportunity to care, to notice, to serve, because I’m too focused on what I feel left out of.

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” (1 Corinthians 10:24)

FOMO can make me walk past the lonely church member in search of the more “influential” groups or circles. It can make me not listen to what is being said or listen to a conversation only to measure whether I’m being included, rather than caring about what others are saying.

When I believe that the “real” spiritual life is happening somewhere else, I stop treasuring the people God has placed directly in front of me.

Healing the Wound of FOMO

1. Repent and Receive Grace

We need to begin by naming FOMO for what it is: a form of idolatry, unbelief and selfishness. It’s okay to grieve the loneliness or the pain of feeling overlooked or left out, but we must repent of turning inward and away from others. The good news of the gospel is that God does not meet us with shame, but with mercy, because Jesus already bore our shame.

At the cross, Christ took upon Himself the weight of our sin: our envy, pride, self-pity, and unbelief. He was forsaken, so we would never be. He died on a Roman cross to bear the punishment we deserved for these very sins and rose again so that we might be justified, fully accepted and declared righteous before God (Romans 4:25). Through faith in Him, we are united with Christ and clothed in His perfect righteousness. This means we no longer have to strive for worth or belonging. He is our belonging.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

So yes, we repent, but we also rest. In Christ, there is grace for our wandering hearts and power to be changed.

2. Look Around and Listen

Who has God placed in your immediate spiritual family? Who have you perhaps overlooked or dismissed while longing for some other “ideal” version of friendship or community?

Start here: the person next to you in the church service or bible study. That quiet member at church, or that member you only see in the directory. That brother or sister who always comes early but never gets invited out. That’s your fellowship. That’s your opportunity. Take initiative. Get to know them. Start listening. Ask questions. Don’t wait for a perfect invitation. Invite yourself and step into the relationships God has already provided for you.

3. Serve Instead of Scan

Rather than scanning the lawn for who notices you, scan the lawn for who needs care. There are always hurting, quiet, overlooked people in your church, people you might not have noticed when FOMO was in charge. Christ calls us to serve, not to be seen.

“The greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matthew 23:11)

4. Celebrate Others’ Joy Without Comparison

When others experience deep fellowship, rejoice in it. When someone posts a photo of a wonderful hangout or gathering you missed or were not invited to, let it turn your heart to thanksgiving, not bitterness. Their joy is not your loss. Instead of thinking, “Why not me?” let your heart pray, “Thank you, Lord, for giving joy to your people.” This is not natural to the sinful flesh, but it is the fruit of the Spirit.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” (Romans 12:15)

This kind of rejoicing is a discipline that transforms envy into encouragement. It aligns your heart with God’s heart. God’s grace is not a limited resource.

5. Rest in God’s Placement

You are not a spiritual orphan. You have not been forgotten. You are not on the outside of God’s plan for His church. If you are in Christ, you are already loved, already included, already placed in the body just as the Spirit willed (1 Corinthians 12:18). Your life is not lesser because it is quieter. Your obedience, your small acts of faithfulness, your unnoticed acts of service are precious in the sight of God. In a world that equates value with visibility, the gospel assures us that God’s sovereign hand never places us outside the bounds of His perfect will. Your belonging is not based on visibility, but on the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13).

You’re Not Missing Out

FOMO will keep whispering, “You need to be somewhere else. You need to be with someone else. You need to become someone else.” But if you are in Christ, you are not left out. You are not excluded. You are not forgotten. You are seen, loved, and placed exactly where the Lord wants you in His body.

“Christ is in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27)
“And He has given us one another.” (Romans 12:5)

This is not a mere spiritual sentiment. This is a blood-bought reality. By His death, Christ brought us near to God (Ephesians 2:13). By His resurrection, He secured our place in the family of God, not as spectators, but as sons and daughters, members of one body, made alive together with Him. You don’t have to earn your place. Jesus already did.

God has already given you all you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). That includes the people around you, the place you’re in, and the gifts you’ve been given.

He has not called you to chase every event, every conversation, or every moment of fellowship. He’s called you to be faithful where you are.