Topic: Purity

Believe me, I know the heaviness of heart. The kind that unsettles you deep down and makes your chest tighten. I had crossed the line… again. That resolve I made in prayer, not to look at worthlessness (Psalm 119:37), now lies shattered at my feet. The room feels smaller, as if my own thoughts were cornering me. That inner lawyer in my head called conscience is relentless: How could you? Again? If you really loved God, would you keep falling here?

And then came the thought of what the Holy One might be thinking of me at that moment. Whether His gaze was now filled with disappointment, disgust, or simply disinterest. Was He shaking His head, tired of forgiving me for the same failure? Did He even want to hear from me at that moment?

Then I recall Jesus’ parable of the rocky soil that sprouted quickly but withered under the sun (Matthew 13:20-21). Was that me? Or the covenant Job had made with his eyes “not to look lustfully at a young woman” (Job 31:1). Was I fooling myself? Or like Esau, had I traded away something priceless, something holy, for a moment of appetite, and no amount of tears could undo it (Hebrews 12:17). Was this the moment God would let me walk away, bowl of stew in hand, never to return?

Those are the kind of questions that linger when it comes to a besetting sin, especially sexual sin; the guilt is heavy. It does not leave quickly. It follows you into prayer. It waits for you in silence. It makes you doubt God’s patience. It makes you question His love.

However, I have been quietly learning an important truth in my fight against lust. One that shifts my gaze from my failures. If I am going to fight lust, it wouldn’t be by gritting my teeth harder. Something deeper has to change. Not just my habits and patterns, but my heart. And that is what I want to highlight in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.

An Unusual Antidote

“But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.” (Ephesians 5:3-4, NASB95)

At first glance, “thanksgiving” might seem like an odd alternative to lust and sexual sin. But Paul’s instruction is no accident. Lust and sexual sin are ultimately a matter of ingratitude. It arises when the heart fixates on what it doesn’t have rather than giving thanks for what God has already provided. The soul that is dissatisfied, always reaching for more, is a soul that has forgotten the daily gifts of God’s provisions, His mercy, His presence, His sustaining love.

When I say sexual sin, I don’t just mean the physical act of fornication or explicit pornography. I mean the lustful glance that lingers a moment too long. The quiet fantasy that rewrites reality for my own pleasure. The sexually flirtatious jokes excused as harmless fun. The “accidental” scroll to suggestive tweets. Even the subtle hunger for attention that makes me dress or act in a way meant to provoke desire. The small compromises like double-tapping or zooming in on that revealing picture, replaying that sexual movie scene with fornication or lips pressing in passionate lust, convincing ourselves it’s “just entertainment”. These are often tiny sparks that fuel a larger fire.

Gratitude interrupts that cycle. When the heart dwells on God’s goodness, every craving loses its power. The more I cultivate thanksgiving, the less room there is for lust. In this way, purity isn’t just discipline; it’s the overflow of a thankful heart.

Sexual Sin and the Ungrateful Heart

Paul connects sexual immorality with covetousness: an unholy hunger for what is not mine. Lust is greed dressed in romance or pleasure. It thrives when I’m convinced that I need something beyond His provision to be satisfied. So I reach out for that dirty tweet I know will feed my curiosity, rewatch that movie scene, click that website.

But gratitude pulls sexual sin up by the roots, because gratitude sees God’s goodness clearly and says, “I have more than enough in Him. “ Gratitude opens our eyes to see that God ‘withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly’ (Psalm 84:11). It notices God’s daily kindnesses as evidence of His generosity. And when my heart is full of gratitude, lust loses its leverage.

Lust grows in the soil of discontentment and thrives in an atmosphere of dissatisfaction. But a heart filled with thanksgiving has no room for the suffocating fumes of discontentment. It refuses the serpent’s whisper, “God is not enough.” A thankful heart remembers the cross, where every spiritual blessing was secured for us in Christ (Ephesians 1:3), and rests in the truth that God’s provision is already more than enough.

Purity After Failure

You may ask, What if I’ve already stumbled sexually? What if lust has won battles in my heart and I feel marked by my past sins? Is there any hope for purity after I’ve fallen?

Oh Yes! I speak as a brother who has known defeat in this battle. Even after coming to know and trust in Jesus, I have repeatedly given in to lustful temptations. I’ve lingered on lustful thoughts, scrolled where I shouldn’t have, and entertained fantasies that left shame behind. Sometimes it felt as if every failure piled itself into a wall between me and God, and I wondered if I could ever truly be free.

The prophet Micah has been a lifeline:

“Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy.
Though I fall, I will rise;
Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
Because I have sinned against Him,
Until He pleads my case and executes justice for me.
He will bring me out to the light,
And I will see His righteousness.” (Micah 7:8–9, NASB95)

Even after failure, God calls us into the light. He forgives, restores, and reshapes our desires. Sexual purity is not a distant ideal reserved for the flawless; it is a grace-filled reality for anyone willing to trust Him again, looking to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our Faith (Hebrews 12:2).

The Gospel and the Guilty

This is the staggering hope of the gospel: when I feel crushed by shame after falling again, gratitude begins by looking back to the cross, to Jesus, who loved me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20). The Judge Himself stepped into my place, taking my guilt, every sin I now despise, and paid for it in full, nailing it to the cross (Colossians 2:13–14). There, God did not merely tolerate me; He chose to make me His own at the cost of His Son’s blood (1 Peter 1:18-19).

That means I don’t have to flee from Him when I fail. The very One I’ve sinned against is the One who now pleads my case. I can run to Him, and when I do, I find mercy and grace in my time of need (Hebrews 4:16): a mercy that is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) and grace that trains me to say no to ungodliness (Titus 2:11-12).

Gratitude in the fight for purity isn’t forced or superficial. It doesn’t pretend everything is fine while guilt screams at our conscience. Thanksgiving arises naturally when the guilty sinner calls to mind what Christ has accomplished for them through the cross.

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12, NASB95)

We fight for holiness not to earn love, but because we already have it. We are chosen in Christ. We are beloved of God. And though sanctification is ongoing, our perfection is already secured (Hebrews 10:14). That identity fuels the battle against lust and impure desires.

Wielding Gratitude Against Lust

If thanksgiving is the Spirit’s weapon against lust, then we must learn to wield it daily. Gratitude is not passive; it is active, a muscle to train, a gaze to shift. Here are a few practical ways I suggest to you:

1. Remember What You’ve Been Rescued From: Without Christ, the wages of my sexual sin was death (Romans 6:23). Gratitude grows when I pause and remember what I’ve been spared from: the ruin, the shame, the bondage. The more vividly I recall my salvation, the less enticing sin will become.
2. Count Your Blessings, Name Them One by One: Recall the mercies of God (Romans 12:1) you’ve received: the Spirit’s presence, Salvation, Grace, Justification, Love, Peace, Hope, Adoption, Inheritance, Assurance, Joy, Comfort, Scripture, Strength in Weakness, Deliverance from Sin, Spiritual Gifts, God’s Sovereignty over your Life, His daily Provision, the Promise of Resurrection, Eternal Life, Glory, Honor, Righteousness, Forgiveness, Reconciliation, the Local Church, Friends, Family, and the list goes on. A heart already full of God’s goodness has less room for lust to seduce.
3. See Sexuality as Sacred Stewardship: 1 Thessalonians 4:3 reminds us that our sexuality belongs to the One who bought us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Gratitude says, “Thank You, Lord, for entrusting me with this gift. Help me guard it well.” Lust will not flourish where reverent stewardship reigns.
4. Flee with a Full Heart: Some temptations are not meant to be reasoned with but fled from. Too often, we try to resist while spiritually starving. Fill your heart with Scripture, Prayer, Worship, and Joy in the Lord so that when temptation comes, your soul is already feasting on better things.

Thanksgiving Makes Purity Possible

Scripture teaches that sexual sin is not just a matter of self-control but of gratitude. Why? Gratitude remembers God’s goodness and finds full satisfaction in Him. Sexual purity is not merely about avoiding pornographic content or turning away from a lustful glance, or chastity, for their own sake. Greg Morse writes:

“God offers you something higher: to see his glory. As sure as lust distorts the world, purity reenchants it. As lust dims beauty and hides God’s face in night, purity cleanses our vision and dawns day upon the face of Christ for us to behold him. Our eyes cannot serve two masters.” (Victory that Lasts)

It is about guarding the eyes of our hearts so that we can see Him more clearly, and refusing to trade the glory of His face for the dim, counterfeit pleasures that can only blur our sight.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8, NASB95)

Do we believe it? Do we believe that the pure in heart shall see God? When lust comes knocking, will we fixate on what He withholds, or lift our eyes to all He has given? Will we starve on discontent, or feast on mercies new each morning? And when we fall, will we hide in shame, or run to the cross where every debt was paid?

I know I am still very much in the thick of this battle. I still struggle, and there are days when the pull of sin feels stronger than my resolve. Yet even there, I find that His grace does not grow weary of me. He meets me weary in my struggle, lifts my eyes again, and reminds me that the fight is not in vain.

Gratitude may not erase the struggle overnight, but it does anchor us in the truth that Christ is enough, and He will not let us go. It is not enough to merely refuse ungodliness; let your heart swell with thanksgiving for all Christ has done, until lust finds no air to breathe. For purity, in Christ, is not only possible, it is radiant. It is beautiful.